Few things are as life-changing as the announcement that you are expecting a child – except possibly the announcement that you are expecting two children. What might life look like as the mother of twins? What do you need to think about when it comes to routines and what tricks should you use to manage two little ones at the same time? We spoke to Sofia, mother of twin boys Nicholas and Oliver, nine months, to get the answers!

How would you describe the first few months as a new mother of twins?
In addition to the total life adjustment that all first-time parents probably feel with insomnia, anxiety, emotional storms of happiness and love and the fear of not being enough or making mistakes, I prepared myself for a couple of really tough first months. I was ready for total chaos because that’s what many twin mums told me the first half of the year is like.

Our boys were born small, which meant feeding formula every two hours around the clock for the first few months, and it was incredibly tough. But beyond that, I must say that the chaos that I had imagined did not come to be. It’s absolutely been busy and double the amount of nappies, feeding, sleeping and everything that baby time means, not to forget screaming parties! But overall, our little ones have been so safe and happy. Maybe because they’ve always had each other?

The single hardest thing for me has been the emotional roller coaster with feeling inadequate as the main culprit. I guess many mothers feel that inadequacy, but with two little ones it becomes extremely apparent. It is not always possible to (easily) comfort two children in your arms, but you have to take the one crying the loudest and the other has to wait their turn. The best thing about having twins is that, although there are double the nappy changes and so on, there is also double the love, joy, baby cuddles, laughter and smiles. And seeing their bond with each other is absolutely incredible!

Did the twins often want to eat and sleep at the same time or do they have different routines?
Already during the pregnancy, we got advice from other twin parents that life will be easier if we sync the children up. So, we’ve always woken one when the other has woken up in order to be able to feed both at the same time, so that they will synchronise everyday life as much as possible. Because if they end up waking up at the same time, they will also (hopefully) fall asleep at the same time. This has been crucial for us as out-of-sync twins means a day of constantly having one baby awake, and those periods of time when babies are asleep is so important for you to get a break! Everyone needs to sit down for a coffee, tidy up the house or try to sleep for a while sometimes.

What is it like to feed two children at the same time?
It is certainly not easy to feed two children at the same time. I was advised at the maternity clinic that it is incredibly tough to fully breastfeed twins, but I wanted to experience breastfeeding. However, I felt that I needed relief, especially at night, so that my partner and I could take one child each. So, we chose to give them formula alternatingly. It became especially tough when one had to be breastfed and one had to receive formula. Or when I was alone with Nicholas and Oliver. There was a lot of screaming and those lovely breastfeeding moments that I had heard about were conspicuous by their absence. However, it worked better when we were both at home and could help each other! In retrospect, I think the easiest thing would have been to either double breastfeed or bottle feed only.

When and how did you notice the twins’ bond with each other? Would you say that they entertain each other and from what age did it start?
Nicholas and Oliver have clearly been aware of each other since birth. They have constantly been contentedly lying next to each other, and when they were newborns they always lay nose to nose and often held each other’s hands.

When the boys were around three months old, they started looking at and smiling at each other. Only around six months of age did they properly start to interact. Then they touched each other, laughed and talked to each other. Now they are almost nine months old and they are always together! Crawling after each other, holding hands when they sit in their dining chairs, laughing at each other and “talking”. They always want to play with the same toy! So I think it’s only now that the boys will start entertaining each other more and more. They climb over each other and pull each other’s ears, which is less appreciated, haha!

How do you think becoming a mother of twins has affected you?
I think that the biggest impact is just being a mother, but being a mother of twins in particular has made me incredibly efficient and fast. And it has built my patience considerably! A nurse at the children’s health centre told me that I will never, ever find anything difficult again, and there may be something to it.

I’ve also gotten a lot better at asking for help and thanks to a wonderful community of twin mums and parents I’ve joined, I’ve also made several new friends. Something that is special about twin parents is that it’s such a nice community and I am so grateful to be a part of it! There’s so much help, understanding and support without any mum shaming.

What do you wish you had known at the beginning that you know today?
When I received the news we were having twins, I felt that there was a lot of focus on the risks and complications that can arise with twin pregnancies. It made me feel a little scared and worried about what to expect, which took away a lot of the joy of being pregnant. I also wish I hadn’t listened to and taken in so many of the opinions of those around me about what it’s like to be a parent of twins, but decided to just form my own opinion. I just wish I had known how GOOD everything was going to be!

Do you have any twin parenting lifehacks?
Absolutely! My best trick is to sync the children when it comes to food and sleep, that piece of advice has made it incredibly easy for us. Also to be structured and set routines in everyday life, because the better planning and routines you have, the easier everyday life becomes. Everything from a feeding and sleeping schedule to setting up a good structure for getting the children dressed when going out is important when you have twins.

Do you have any product tips that have made life easier?
Our absolute best purchase is without a doubt a BabyBrezza! It’s our best friend here at home. You have to prepare so many bottles every day, and that little machine saves us a huge amount of time and shouting.