The first period of time as a new parent is often very turbulent. There is suddenly a new little human being in the family and many things that you used to take for granted change.

There are big changes on a psychological level when you have a baby. This can sometimes leave your expectations of parenthood unfulfilled in the first period after childbirth. In addition to getting to know your little baby, new parenthood brings mixed feelings – both positive and negative – and that’s perfectly normal. It is common that the love for your baby, which you may have expected to appear immediately after the birth, only comes after a little while when you have started to get to know and bond with your little baby.

At the same time as you feel happiness, euphoria and strong love for your child, you may worry about illnesses, accidents or that you yourself will cause harm to the child. As a new parent, you may feel guilty about negative automatic thoughts such as “I’m not a good enough parent”, “what if the child is traumatised if I can’t immediately pick it up when it screams”, “what if I accidentally drop my child”. It is common to find yourself in emotional storms of all kinds as a new parent. Feeling worried can be difficult, but worry is a vital instinct that makes you a better parent.

In moderation, anxiety is good for your child, making you aware of potential dangers, for example if your child is wearing too few clothes or appears to have an illness. Often, the greatest anxiety settles down after your child is about three months old, when a sense of security may begin to emerge. If the anxiety continues, takes over and starts to hinder you in everyday life, you should take it up with your children’s health centre who can advise or help you further. Examples of this include avoiding activities that there is really no reason to avoid. If you are two parents together, it is important and helpful to acknowledge and support each other rather than letting the anxiety spread between each other.

To…
• Feel anxious about your parenting skills (am I doing the right thing, am I caring enough, etc.)
• Feel worried about your child’s development (why does my child do this, is this normal, etc.)
• Experience emotional swings; happiness, irritation, fear, elation, tiredness, sadness, joy

… is completely normal as long as the anxiety or emotional swings do not take over your everyday life or lead to the avoidance of activities that do not really need to be avoided, such as taking a walk with your child, taking your child with you when shopping for food or having coffee with a friend.