Do you have recurring thoughts connected to your miscarriage or future pregnancy that play on repeat in your head? Thoughts that affect the truth you are teaching yourself such as guilt, worry, stress, depression or fear? This exercise will help you replace those negative thoughts with new ones that will help you create a new focus moving forward.

Take out a pen and paper and give yourself time to work through this exercise. The goal of the exercise is for you to get out of the mindset that you are stuck in and instead focus on something that feels more positive.

Instructions:

1. Write down everything you are worrying about, the things playing on loop in your head.
For example, “I had a miscarriage because I was too stressed at work” or “My body rejected my child, I will never be a mother”.

2. Consider and answer the following:

• Is what you are thinking/worrying about true?
• What is the evidence for that?
• Is it rational?
• Does each thought/worry help you in any way?
• How do you feel when you think like that?

3. Think about and write down how you would prefer to think.
For example “Stress did not affect my miscarriage, but to feel better, I want to find a better balance in life” or “My pregnancy ended this time, but next time it may be my turn to become a mother”.

4. Read through what you have written and stop at each new thought. How do you feel when you think like that?

5. How do you see the future when you think in this new way?

6. Finally, write down what you can do and want to do to replace old thoughts with new ones.
For example “Start the day by reading the new positive thoughts in bed before I get up” or “Have post-its with what I want to think about on my mirror/computer/desk”.

Finally, remember that it can take time to change ways of thinking that you have been stuck in for a long period of time. Be kind to yourself – every small step forward is a step towards feeling a little better.