Research shows that women/mothers tend to carry out household and family chores to a greater extent than men/fathers. We also know that mothers’ and fathers’, as well as children’s, health is improved if parenting is equal!

Gender equality is important during pregnancy and creates both the conditions for a positive birthing experience and those early days with your child. Both long-term and short-term health effects are seen in all family members who live in an equal parenting system.

Equal parenting includes, among other things, contributing equally to the care of your child and your home, but also the ability to work full-time and have the opportunity for personal time and mental recovery. Feel free to discuss with each other how you can share chores within your relationship to promote equal parenting! You can do this during pregnancy, and it involves tasks such as income-generating work, housework, caring for your child, leisure activities and personal time.

To make things clearer, you can make a list of chores so you can identify what each of you is up to. By listing your chores, you will identify and confirm each person’s engagement and time commitment. See our list of examples at the bottom of the article.

The scope of these chores may vary based on what your life looks right now. It may not be the case that everything has to be 50/50, but may vary depending on whether one of you is on parental leave, for example.

The important thing is not who does what, or to what extent, but that you both feel that you are spending an equal amount of energy on joint tasks, at least in the long run. Remember that being on parental leave is a full-time job in itself, where you will often have to constantly monitor your child/children. For those who are not on parental leave, it can be difficult to imagine the mental stress that it can create in the long run. Those on parental leave spend their days in and around their home to a large extent, and this lack of new stimulus in their environment and variety that a job would otherwise have contributed to, can feel monotonous to some. It can also mean having limited opportunities to meet other adults.

In the end, it’s not about splitting everything exactly the same every day, but the important thing is that you feel that one isn’t taking on more than they can handle. It can therefore be good to check from time to time how each other are doing when it comes to business at home. We believe that a well-functioning team is better than the sum of its parts!

The list of chores may include:

• Paid work (work full-time/part-time/temporary parental benefit etc.)
• Caring for children (Parental leave/playing/social interaction with other families with children/feeding/sleeping with your child/organising clothes, shopping, needs, naming clothes, etc./your child’s hygiene/comforting/reading/alone time with your child/children/without the other parent/helping with homework/parent meetings)
• Family life (maintaining contact with family and friends/taking the initiative for family activities and planning these/buying presents/organising parties/planning holidays/play dates/etc.)
• Free time/private time (private time at home and outside/bed time/undisturbed sleep etc.)
• Housework (Cleaning/watering flowers/organising and bookkeeping/changing sheets/doing research for purchases and other essentials/gardening/changing light bulbs/taking out the rubbish/managing finances/shopping for food and seeing what you are out of or need/planning meals/doing the dishes/cleaning up, etc.)
• Any other things that need to be done