During pregnancy we look up information, read articles, books, listen to podcasts and follow your baby’s development in the womb. Childbirth is the end goal, and sometimes it can be hard to accept that it is actually then and there that everything begins. You will leave the maternity ward as a family and start life at home together. Without a manual or handbook in parenting, you must take care of an individual who is completely dependent on you. In this guide, we will go through what those first weeks and months at home can be like, what the child needs from you and where you can turn to if you need support.

In this guide:

– First days at home
– How often and how much should the child eat at first?
– A newborn’s sleep needs
– Nappy changes
– Your baby’s skin and navel
– Cutting nails
– Your baby’s clothes
– First visit from the children’s health centre

First days at home
Leaving home pregnant and coming home with a new little human can feel nerve-wracking, anxious, scary and wonderful all at the same time. This is the start of what will eventually become your new everyday life, and it may take time before you find what works for you.

Family and friends may want to visit your baby in the first few days after you get home. For some, this is fine, while others feel they want a few days or weeks to settle in before they are ready to receive visitors. Know what you feel comfortable with and don’t be afraid to set some ground rules for those who may come to visit. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask them to wash their hands carefully, bring their own coffee/food and keep the visit as long/short as you are comfortable with. Everyone will get their chance to meet and get to know your baby, it doesn’t have to happen in the first two weeks.

Many have heard the term “baby bubble” and just as often as it being pink, fluffy and wonderful, it can also be a bubble of labour pain, kilos of laundry (hello puking baby, leaky nappies and breast milk spraying over everyone and everything), a lack of sleep and a feeling of being completely out of your depth in the most important role of your life. It is completely normal for emotions to fluctuate between highs and lows. If you have a partner, their most important task is to take over for you whenever you need. For example, make sure you can take a shower, eat good food, drink regularly and hold your baby as much as possible. How often you need to feed and be there for your baby can feel overwhelming. Remind yourself that this is just a short period when everything is so intense.

In the UK, all partners are entitled to paternity leave from work when they become parents. This means that you as a family get time to settle in together after the birth. Many take the opportunity to go for walks with the buggy, try driving with their newborn or other things where it may feel good to have two people present for the first time so that you are more prepared to do these things yourself. Breastfeeding and caring for a baby is a full-time job, and it’s important to remind yourself of that and reduce the demands on what else you have to do in your day.

How often and how much should your child eat at first?
If you breastfeed, much of those early days will be spent being there for your baby when they want to eat. Continue to keep giving your baby a lot of skin-to-skin contact during the first few days at home. Your baby will show that they are hungry by sticking out their tongue, sucking on their lips and smacking, moving around a lot, sucking on its hands, opening its mouth, looking for your breast and, finally, crying.

When your baby is full, it will stop sucking actively or fall asleep at your breast. It is completely down to the individual child as to how long and often they want to eat and how much breast milk a baby gets during a breastfeeding session. If your child is growing as they should, can breastfeed when they want and seems content, it is a sign that the child is getting enough food. If your baby is healthy, you don’t normally need to wake them up to eat. Instead, take the opportunity to breastfeed more often while they are awake.

Listen to your baby’s signals, even if you use a breast milk substitute, for signs of hunger and signs that they are full. A healthy child has the ability to self-regulate how much they need to eat. Some rules of thumb in the first few days are that your baby will want to eat more than 8-12 times a day before the mature milk is ready. It usually does so on day 3-5. When the mature milk is ready, you can expect your child to eat about 8-12 times a day. Keep your schedule a little fluid and follow your baby’s signals. Sometimes your baby will want to sleep a little longer during the day and then eat more later in the day.

A newborn’s sleep needs
As with everything else when it comes to children, everyone is different and the same goes for sleep. Some babies sleep 16 hours a day, while others need up to 22 hours. This can also vary from day to day. In the beginning, a baby doesn’t know the difference between day and night; this is something they will learn eventually. In order to give your baby the best possible conditions for sleeping at night, it is important to keep their room dark, make sure it is cool and that your baby is full when they fall asleep. At first, you may have to change their nappy at night if they poo, if it’s just pee, it can wait until the morning.

Nappy changes
In the early days, you’ll go through a lot of nappies, up to 8-10 per day. It is important to change your child’s dirty nappy immediately to avoid burning and eczema. Preferably wash your baby by hand with running water and dry with a towel; this is the most gentle for your baby’s bottom. Feel free to ask for help with this at the maternity ward. Otherwise, you can use a washcloth with lukewarm water, as well as baby oil if necessary.

Allow your child to lie naked and breathe during nappy changes and consider it a nice time to talk, sing and look at each other. Some children love lying on the changing table, while others do not find it fun at all, this can also come in waves. Try hanging something colourful over your changing table for your child to look at. Small children need warmth, so try putting a towel or blanket over your baby’s body if you feel that they are cold during a nappy change. During nappy changes, it is a good idea to rub your child’s tummy a couple of times a day to stimulate movement in the intestines and minimise stomach cramps. All children suffer from stomach cramps and “chubby” stomachs in their first year of life, due to a lack of movement and immature intestines.

Your baby’s skin and navel
You can give your baby a bath as early as the first week after you come home from the hospital. The navel does not need to have fallen off. Remove the nappy and wipe away any poo before bathing your baby. Use only water and baby oil, soap will dry out your baby’s sensitive skin. Make sure the bath water stays at around 37-38 degrees. It is important to wash all your child’s skin folds, including under the neck, armpits and groin. Be sure to dry them with a towel afterwards so that everything is dry. You can also use the baby oil to moisturise your baby’s skin after a bath.

It is common for a newborn’s skin to be scaly, little dry and have various small rashes. It may be appropriate to stick to two baths a week in order not to dry out their skin. Feel free to let your baby lie naked and let their skin air dry after a bath.

The remaining umbilical stump will dry, blacken and then fall off. This can take anything from a few days up to two weeks. Wash with water and pat it dry with a towel if pee or poo get on it or if there is bleeding from the navel. Your baby has no feeling on the stump so you don’t need to worry about it hurting. It is completely normal for the belly button to smell bad before it falls off.

Contact a doctor or consult your children’s health centre if it anything comes out of the navel, or if the skin around it is red, swollen and appears to be tender. This may be an infection that needs to be treated.

Cutting nails
Cutting a newborn’s nails can be scary, but with a little practice it will soon get easier. In the early days, nails and the skin underneath are more fused, so we recommend that you file the nails straight off and/or carefully tear the nails off instead of cutting. You can do this as long as your baby’s nails are soft. When your baby is a little older, you can switch to a baby nail clipper. Make sure you have good lighting and a calm baby. Wait until your child is asleep if they don’t want to stay still. Cutting twice a week is normal, as toenails generally grow a little slower.

Your baby’s clothes
Dressing a newborn can be a bigger challenge than you might think. Avoid clothes that you have to pull over their head and clothes with zippers or other hard materials. Bodysuits are a good and flexible garment for a newborn. Remember that small children are sensitive to the cold, so change in a warm and safe place. One tip is to have a lot of small towels, bodysuits and pants by your changing table. Vomiting, dirty nappies and peeing on the changing table are common, so it’s good to have a change close at hand. You may need a lot of clothes every day, especially if you have a baby who vomits a lot.

Most parents find it difficult to know how much to dress their children, so you’re not alone if you feel a little confused. In the summer, it is important that your baby is protected from the sun, so invest in thin clothing that will cover their entire body. In winter, it’s a good idea to layer up so you can easily regulate your child’s temperature. Remember to open their overalls or footmuff in their buggy if you are out and, for example, going into a shop for a while. Check their neck or chest to see if your baby feels warm enough. Hands and feet are generally colder, although of course they should not be freezing cold.

First visit from the children’s health centre 
Approximately 1-2 weeks after you come home from the maternity ward, a nurse from the children’s health centre will come to your home. They will examine your baby and check their weight, height, navel, skin, head, etc. It may be a good idea to write down any questions or concerns that have come up that you want to discuss with the nurse before they visit. This may be something you need support with, don’t feel is working or something that is worrying you. No question is too small, too big or taboo. It is completely normal to feel and think a lot of things as a new parent.